Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Some last thoughts

Well this snuck up on me. I guess that is not to surprising as it is not something one happily looks forward to.

Today is the day Andee found the strength to realize she needed help and got it. The day Andee's new friend looked at her and then looked at the stairs down from Andee's little house and said something like "there is no way I can get you down from here you are going to have do most of it." Andee pulled together the strength and marched down those stairs even though her body was failing her. Tomorrow is the day she realized that this was the end and she fought to stay in the little hospital and accept that end. This was woman that always found the strength needed when things when it was needed

Yes she could also be a bitch (I am using her word here), headstrong, unwilling to change her mind, bigoted (mainly idiots and Gringos in Mexico). She could hold a grudge like nobodies business. If she thought you where a fool you were cut off till you could prove yourself otherwise. She could say things that would cut you to the bone. She was good at figuring people out, it took time but she would get in there. Then if you pissed her off she could cut you down with just a few words.

She would also open her home to those who needed her. Before me there were many children that she took in because there was no place else for them. I remember stories about them and in way I think of them as the older brothers and sisters that I never met. I have hear from a few since Andee died and hear a few more stories. I believe without her more than a few would not have made it or would have ended up even more messed up. Long before the Farm she helped run a facility for what we would now call developmental disabled kids in Florida. It almost killed how much she gave to those kids. Then she decided to have me, I won't go into detail but it was a very deliberate decision, with a focus that I wish other kids could have had. That same strength came into play and she made a life that surrounded me as I grew up. I think she gave up allot more than I will ever know to try and be the parent she wanted to be. Even in the end a cat found her that needed a home and Andee brought Gracie in.

I say all the above as a reminder to all of us that Andee was a person with her good side and healthy bad side. Without both she would not have been the person I loved, some of you loved, and that pissed off allot of other people.

In Andee's time in Mexico more and more of here cognitive facilities were slipping away. For me having grown up with her it was easy to see what she was losing even if others could not. I would have been sad or angry about this accept for an odd thing. This was Andee are her happiest. I have come to think that this was the childhood that her never really felt she had. There she had no responsibilities that she did not choose, no need for much plans farther than the next part of the day. She was as free there as she had ever been I think. I wish to die so well when it comes.

So remember her as the person that she was. Flawed in many ways. Caring of other with all her heart. Remember the good with the bad. I think that she would hate the memories to be a lie though incompleteness.

I will leave the comments open for those that may wonder by.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A few pictures from the Spring event

These are from the little event we had in Spokane this spring of 08. We snacked on the food other had brought. Someone brought pizza which made me laugh and realize it was the most appropriate thing that anyone could have brought besides the Cokes Those that wanted one had a glass bottle Coke from Mexico. In little groups we told stories about her. People meet each other for the first time and and were amazed at the breadth of the people there. Then we together said a few words of our feelings and memories. We did not dwell to long and thing that would have made here happy. Then we snacked some more. Think that even Andee would have enjoyed it. At least that there was some that she liked to eat.

It went wonderfully. Plenty of people where there. It was a very happy event.

Some of the people and the some of the food

Some of the surviving Farm people

A flower from Russ and Dee's beautiful garden

Photo credits to Russ